How many posts can I start?

So.. this is post number 4 that I've started in the past 2 weeks... and in the first sentence of my post I had to move the chicken coop out of the garage into the driveway... so- other than the kids, work, (somewhat working out), the house, paying the bills, life in general and the little projects we have going on... I'm distracted... While there is much to post about - I'm having issues... what should I call those things? haha... UM... IRRITATING???... a little... haha...

I have a question... when you buy a lottery ticket - do you buy the next nights lottery too? Like buy the mega millions for Tuesday and then the Texas Lotto for Wednesday... JUST in case? I do... Am I totally jinxing myself - ya know... by totally knowing that I won't win one - so might as well try for the other? I mean - shit.. you can't win if you don't play, right? Is that retarded that I even think of that? I rarely buy them - but maybe I should more... I mean ... there are more obscure people in the world that have won... and I don't know anyone who has won... so I have a chance... right? scratch offs are for bitches... we buy the dollar ones for the kids - they dig scratching them and have no idea if they win or not... even when they don't win (which is 9 out of 10 times) - we still tell them that atleast one of the ones they scratched wins... a dollar is like dirt to a 2 and 4 year old... haha... they have no idea of what money is... and I guess that is just about how it should be... they have it all... haha... food, clothing, roof... ya know... haha.. the necessities...

Off of that subject - I heard a song this week - "Highway 20 Drive" by the Zac Brown Band... Reminds me of Hud and Hannah... I'm sure that it has to be absolutely heart-wrenching everytime he drops her off here or possibly anytime she's not with him... I mean - seriously - they moved to our neighborhood in Keller to be closer to her...and while I somewhat feel like a shit ass for moving her... I am her mother... and I will do anything and everything that I can to leave a legacy for her... does that makes sense??? I want to give her Wide Open Spaces (hello Dixie Chicks!!!) - freedom to roam... freedom to GROW... freedom to learn what life is really about... I want her to BE... Like REALLLLLLLY BE... Love her life... Love her family... Love her brothers... YES - they are ANNOYING - but DAMN - LOVE THEM ANYWAY! I want her to learn how to live outside of a boxed-in completely controlled environment... I wanted Han to be HOME. and to feel HOME. and guess what??? she's... like... there... if she isn't there... she's really close...





If you've ever had a daughter... It is like... insane. To love... nurture... TEACH... and PROTECT.... She's going to be a mother someday. haha... she made a comment about that last night actually... yes, she's 11... but she has a giraffe that her Meme gave her when she was born... and she said last night "I want to give this to my first baby someday..."... Um... wow... Lightening STRIKE... She's 11 - and is thinking that far ahead... (it is only acceptable for her to ever procreate AFTER college and she lives in her own place on her own for atleast 2 years AND THEN gets married...) it's our deal...k?? like it or hate it... I talk to my daughter. And I want her to be her own woman FIRST... I want her to just BE... and to know that she is THE BEES KNEES... whatever that means... self esteem is SOOOO important... She's just IT. She's smart, beautiful and SOOOO talented in so many ways... I love the fact that she someday wants to do this whole life thing. It's a bitch. Just like a woman! A bitch to deal with - but totally worth it in the long run.



Am I rambling? Maybe... but it's my blog... so I can gush over my beautiful daughter as long as I want.... right??? I will re-read this a million times... and tear up every time... because I love her. sooooooooooooooo freaking much... even more now that she's becoming a woman... yes... it freaks me out... I'm a mommy. It's my job to freak out. Does anyone read this anyway??? other than me?

Ugh.... wow... crap... blah...fart... snot... what??? I just read this outloud to Jeremy and cried like a baby... I CAN'T NOT love her that much...

Ok... so that's what I've got right now.... oh crap... I have more.

I love my husband. He is a good man... A good father... and tries his ass off to make me happy...working it out..

much love - H

Jibber Jabber... H2 and H3 style...

So... Big Boy Haden (H2) says today... "Momma what is wrong with you???" -- I was perplexed because I wasn't crying, yelling or sick... I was simply in the bathroom doing my hair... I responding "what do you mean bubba?" - he points to the tub and says "your tub is dirty! you need to clean it!" - hahaha... Maybe I clean too much? hee hee... a 4 year old to notice a few dirt specks???(from muddy boots that I sat in there from last weekend)... anyway - pretty darn cute!

Holton this evening was a total BOOGER - not a good one when I picked him up from daycare... But once we got home and he saw daddy - his mood completely changed. I was irritated to say the least because after a long day at work - the last thing you want is a screaming kicking child greeting you at the door of daycare... ANYWAY - he did make up for it a few minutes ago... He had asked for a treat - and being almost 730 - chocolate and sweets aren't a-happenin'... So we opted for Goldfish... "I want it in a baggy please"... Ok... mom is going for a baggy... "oh, wait... can I have a bowl instead please?"... Ok... haha... put baggy up - get a bowl... He takes the bowl and says "thank you so much mommy... you are so sweet!" HE says "you are so sweet"... haha... just about melted my heart... On top of his - "I miss you all day mommy" and "i stay home with you all weekend?" and the "love you too mom" (even when I haven't said it in the last 20 minutes...

Right now he's digging in the train set saying "gotta do batteries mom... gotta do batteries"... Um... no... the train is LOUD! haha...

Anyway - that's it for the moment... I've got to upload some pictures... :) Much love!! Heathe

Negative Nancy is leaving the building...

ugh... It is safe to say that I have been down in the dumps for a few weeks... The weather blows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! While I can't blame my mood completely on the weather - I can a little because we have SOOOOOOOOO much to do and it has been just too damn cold and wet to do anything productive outside with this place.

That being said - I have to 'check myself' and get out of this funk. I need to do what I can with what I have and let mother nature run its course of cold and then get ready for the bigger adventures that lie ahead when it is nice enough to be productive.

I've capture a few pictures of the sunsets in January that we've experience... Absolutely breathtaking...





Anyway - I did paint the diarrhea bathroom this weekend and discovered that my mortal enemy as of this moment is the popcorn on the ceiling... I mean - REALLY! WTF! HATE IT! Even with a straight edge - it bleeds... So when you come to my house - don't mention the edges... haha.. it is what it is! hahahaha

Painting, however, made the wood cabinets and the nasty door look even worse... So - once we have good enough weather - we're pulling all the doors off the hinges (in all inside rooms) and all cabinets and refinishing/painting them all. Cheap enough fix for a MUCH better look!





That's it for now. Will have video later...

Much love - Heather

YAY for FRIDAY!!!

Whew! I'm sooooo glad that it is FRIDAY!!! I have been a cranky witch all week... Jer says its PPPPMMMMMSSSSS (he says it like that) - I have to disagree. I think I'm just in that MODE right now. SO much to do... So little time and money. That's life, right???

Anyway - Melissa's 30th birthday was yesterday. She arrived safely at our little country abode last night... Worn our with a sore ass from the drive - she still entertained us a bit and had a few brews. The kids made her a cake - but we didn't light the candles or eat it since it was so late... She gets to have 3 birthday days I guess! Tonight we'll sing... and eat cake! And tomorrow we're having our little get-together to celebrate. Jer wants to have a bonfire. But I’m an asshole (so he says) and called the fire marshall to make sure that we could actually do that. We can burn brush – but a bon fire is an absolute NO… And we have to burn during the daylight just in case it got out of hand. Makes sense to me! If the wind is over 5mph we aren’t suppose to burn at all. Isn’t the wind always more than that? Hahahaha!!!

I always get so freaking nervous when I plan a party. This one will be small - but still... I just never know what to do. ??? Everyone usually figures it out on their own - but I feel as if I need to entertain the masses. Yes, Mel.. I know.. READ THE FREAKING BOOK! I will. I have to dig it out of one of the still unpacked boxes.

My sister Beth called yesterday and said that she got the keys to their new place. She said it is like half the size of their old place. She was a little bummed – but hell – free rent is free rent!!! She did say that they have a front and back yard now – so that is really good for Caden. Joey said that they’ll only be there like 2 years. (hee hee) – Beth called ‘bullshit’… She doesn’t want to go through the packing and moving again that soon. I can TOTALLY relate!

Anyway - will try to post again 'POST PARTY'... :) And I'll try to actually be IN some of the pictures this time!!!

Much Love!!! ~H

I knew it was coming...

Tonight we got the full on 'I hate this place' from Hannah. I really did know that it was coming. I would do the same thing - only SO much more dramatically when I was a kid... The thing is... When I was a kid - I didn't have parents that were actually trying to make a better life for me... So all of my dramatics would have been complete and total bullshit. As... are hers...

It's my blog -so I can say whatever the hell I want to... For 12 years (I'm counting WOMB time here people - I carried her!!!!!!!!) - anyway - for 12 years, Hannah Sunshine has been the 'be all end all' for me. She's my little Sunshine and I've done everything in my power to give her everything under the sun... Take care of her, love her, spoil her... blah blah blah... I know she's too young to understand the responsibility factor... The trials, tribulations, struggles, etc. that I've gone through as a mother to take care of my responsibility AS a mother. I was given a gift from God when I had her. The most precious thing on earth that there is.

That being said - I'm pretty pissed right now at the fact that 'someone' has even given her an INKLING that she has any possibilty whatsoever that she can go - wherever she wants to go - whenever she wants to.... REALLY???? LIKE SERIOUSLY REALLLY??????????????????????????????????????????????????

Whew... I'm not going to say anything right now that I will regret or delete later... But let it be known... I fight a good fight... Because I know what I've done to provide for my daughter. And guess what??? She now has 10 acres (plus 24 acres) to roam, a farm house to help expand, a barn to play hide-n-seek in, horses and cows to pet and a better life than I could have ever imagined for her.

Yes, it is an adjustment - for ALL of us. I've freaked out a few times myself already. But shit... It is what it is. Make the best of it...

Let's just say EVERYONE needs to be on the same team... And that team is mine. Period.

Week 3 at Triple H... (or HHH) I have no idea!~

haha... I still haven't come up with a Logo or Brand for the 'farm/ranch'... Our family keeps calling it the 'mini' farm... All in all - we have no chickens... or goats... or peacocks, buffalo, fish, ostrich or any of the other wonderful things that 'THE FARM' entails... This place has a kick ass barn, 4 horses and like 20 cattle... So... I'm torn... My idea is to call this place "Triple H Ranch" - and to have "Triple H Photography" - "Triple H Woodworking" - "TRIPLE H EVERYTHING!"

So - dang it... I need to get on the whole figuring out a logo brand... Do I go with "HHH Ranch"? Or Triple H? Is it one in the same?

A few videos taken recently of the minimal progress... haha... THINK POTENTIAL!

The main house... Tight quarters - but it's making us closer!!! haha... (not by choice!)







I sent this to Han before she had seen 'her room' actually done... She spent a week with Meme and Aunt Carrie...



We'll call this 'the bowling alley' once we've connected the house...



The upstairs apartment/garage that will become the great room, a guest bedroom, wetbar and the boys/Hannahs rooms upstairs...



We moved the curtains that were in the living room when we moved in to the garage... hee hee... so PRETTY... NOT!




Overall - so far - it's been awesome... A little emotional... REALLY freaking expensive... and a huge adjustment - but we're getting there. When we start the main build in the spring - I think it will be really exciting. It's SOOO freaking cold right now - it's hard to DO anything outside. I say that... and Jer spent an hour outside tonight in the 16 degree windchill weather fixing the electric gate so that it would run smoother for the momma in the morning.

The kids are really getting closer... In all aspects. They are sharing a room to sleep - and Han has no choice but to play with her brothers. haha... I love it. honestly - she's "BACK IN" haha... by force... :) kidding. She seems to be having fun and has already made a few new friends at the new school. First day was rough... She wore 'holy' jeans and that is a HUGE 'no-no' - so we had to go home - change - and go back to finish enrolling her... oh well! lessons learned!

Crazy! Dad's been helping tremendously... He's been hanging on the weekends and just toodles off from time to time to fix 'shit'... haha... I look out front the window and he's 2 acres up at the gate... I look out the 'bowling alley' and he's sweeping the driveway... I look out the back windows and he's got a chainsaw going cutting wood for the fire... We even had a 'SHE-RA' moment where at 11 o'clock on Saturday with my mud boots on in the middle of the creek I managed a 100 lb. log - by myself... he talked about it all night and the next day... haha.. Somehow I became an 'ox' in his eyes.


I have tons of pics - but have already posted a million videos in this post - so - that's it for this one!

First... The first of FIRSTS for Jer and I...

Blackbird... Beatles...



If you have ever felt as if you were the "Black Sheep" or the "Black Bird" - this song is everything... Blackbird FLY... Into the LIGHT OF THE DARK BLACK NIGHT... uh huh... good shit!

Lyrics:

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Black bird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise,
You were only waiting for this moment to arise,
You were only waiting for this moment to arise...

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