Momma wants to get fit...

So... It's Wednesday... GOTTA LOVE WEDNESDAYS!!! only 2 more days until I get 2 days to hang with my INSANITY!!! ANYWAY - I started running again yesterday - and ran again today... My legs hurt like nut-ness... LIKE SERIOUSLY... I took 'off' of running when it hit 100+ and the ozone alert was orange... But I've decided screw a bunch of that crap... I'm only hurting myself by NOT running and doing SOMETHING... I'm fine as far as weight goes - but in reality my BMI is SUCKY SUCKERTON... I need to lose 15 lbs (regardless of my 'fire hydrant muscle build') - I need and want to lose 15... (regardless of the BMI scale)...

SOOOO... That brings me to a decision situation... Last year I went to a boot camp 'class' of sorts that literally rocked my world... Physically... Mentally... and Emotionally... Totally sounds weird as I type that - but it really did... Holton was less that 6 weeks old when I started... I was SOOOOOOOOOOO out of shape after the pregnancy and REALLY wanted to get the baby weight off... Mind you - baby weight never really comes off - because your body is just NEVER EVER EVER EVER the same... Right now - I weigh less than I did when Haden AND Holton were conceived... AND only 3 lbs. more than my wedding day.... BUT... SHIT IS JUST NOT in the same place that it has been in YEARS body-wise...

The real deal is - that this class costs 200 bucks a month... WHICH IS EFFIN' INSANE! I did, however, get a 'coupon' for buy one - get one... So I can go for two months for 300 bucks... I personally - do not live in a world or income stream where 300 bucks is not alot to spend on frivolous crap... 300 bucks is easily food for my family for a month. Not only would 300 bucks be a shit-ball to spend... It also means 8 hours of precious time away from my babies... (As a working mom - I get MAYBE 20 hours of 'after work' time with my kids... Typically those hours are abolutely insanity crazy screaming-ness... But still - those hours are HOURS of time that I don't get back if I don't have them with them....

UUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!! So what am I going to do???? I WANT AND NEED this... I WANT to go... I am in the mind set to do something for myself - screw the money... Can't and won't 'screw' the time... Jer has promised to bring the kids up atleast twice a week when I go... But damnit! Why do I feel so bad? FREAKING MOMMY-NESS el-sucko's sometimes!!! haha...

Ok - I'll stop... haha... But still... I'm dramatizing something that is SO simple... JUST FREAKING GO! JUST FREAKING DO IT!! DO SOMETHING!!!!!

Much love... H