Negative Nancy is leaving the building...

ugh... It is safe to say that I have been down in the dumps for a few weeks... The weather blows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! While I can't blame my mood completely on the weather - I can a little because we have SOOOOOOOOO much to do and it has been just too damn cold and wet to do anything productive outside with this place.

That being said - I have to 'check myself' and get out of this funk. I need to do what I can with what I have and let mother nature run its course of cold and then get ready for the bigger adventures that lie ahead when it is nice enough to be productive.

I've capture a few pictures of the sunsets in January that we've experience... Absolutely breathtaking...





Anyway - I did paint the diarrhea bathroom this weekend and discovered that my mortal enemy as of this moment is the popcorn on the ceiling... I mean - REALLY! WTF! HATE IT! Even with a straight edge - it bleeds... So when you come to my house - don't mention the edges... haha.. it is what it is! hahahaha

Painting, however, made the wood cabinets and the nasty door look even worse... So - once we have good enough weather - we're pulling all the doors off the hinges (in all inside rooms) and all cabinets and refinishing/painting them all. Cheap enough fix for a MUCH better look!





That's it for now. Will have video later...

Much love - Heather

YAY for FRIDAY!!!

Whew! I'm sooooo glad that it is FRIDAY!!! I have been a cranky witch all week... Jer says its PPPPMMMMMSSSSS (he says it like that) - I have to disagree. I think I'm just in that MODE right now. SO much to do... So little time and money. That's life, right???

Anyway - Melissa's 30th birthday was yesterday. She arrived safely at our little country abode last night... Worn our with a sore ass from the drive - she still entertained us a bit and had a few brews. The kids made her a cake - but we didn't light the candles or eat it since it was so late... She gets to have 3 birthday days I guess! Tonight we'll sing... and eat cake! And tomorrow we're having our little get-together to celebrate. Jer wants to have a bonfire. But I’m an asshole (so he says) and called the fire marshall to make sure that we could actually do that. We can burn brush – but a bon fire is an absolute NO… And we have to burn during the daylight just in case it got out of hand. Makes sense to me! If the wind is over 5mph we aren’t suppose to burn at all. Isn’t the wind always more than that? Hahahaha!!!

I always get so freaking nervous when I plan a party. This one will be small - but still... I just never know what to do. ??? Everyone usually figures it out on their own - but I feel as if I need to entertain the masses. Yes, Mel.. I know.. READ THE FREAKING BOOK! I will. I have to dig it out of one of the still unpacked boxes.

My sister Beth called yesterday and said that she got the keys to their new place. She said it is like half the size of their old place. She was a little bummed – but hell – free rent is free rent!!! She did say that they have a front and back yard now – so that is really good for Caden. Joey said that they’ll only be there like 2 years. (hee hee) – Beth called ‘bullshit’… She doesn’t want to go through the packing and moving again that soon. I can TOTALLY relate!

Anyway - will try to post again 'POST PARTY'... :) And I'll try to actually be IN some of the pictures this time!!!

Much Love!!! ~H

I knew it was coming...

Tonight we got the full on 'I hate this place' from Hannah. I really did know that it was coming. I would do the same thing - only SO much more dramatically when I was a kid... The thing is... When I was a kid - I didn't have parents that were actually trying to make a better life for me... So all of my dramatics would have been complete and total bullshit. As... are hers...

It's my blog -so I can say whatever the hell I want to... For 12 years (I'm counting WOMB time here people - I carried her!!!!!!!!) - anyway - for 12 years, Hannah Sunshine has been the 'be all end all' for me. She's my little Sunshine and I've done everything in my power to give her everything under the sun... Take care of her, love her, spoil her... blah blah blah... I know she's too young to understand the responsibility factor... The trials, tribulations, struggles, etc. that I've gone through as a mother to take care of my responsibility AS a mother. I was given a gift from God when I had her. The most precious thing on earth that there is.

That being said - I'm pretty pissed right now at the fact that 'someone' has even given her an INKLING that she has any possibilty whatsoever that she can go - wherever she wants to go - whenever she wants to.... REALLY???? LIKE SERIOUSLY REALLLY??????????????????????????????????????????????????

Whew... I'm not going to say anything right now that I will regret or delete later... But let it be known... I fight a good fight... Because I know what I've done to provide for my daughter. And guess what??? She now has 10 acres (plus 24 acres) to roam, a farm house to help expand, a barn to play hide-n-seek in, horses and cows to pet and a better life than I could have ever imagined for her.

Yes, it is an adjustment - for ALL of us. I've freaked out a few times myself already. But shit... It is what it is. Make the best of it...

Let's just say EVERYONE needs to be on the same team... And that team is mine. Period.

Week 3 at Triple H... (or HHH) I have no idea!~

haha... I still haven't come up with a Logo or Brand for the 'farm/ranch'... Our family keeps calling it the 'mini' farm... All in all - we have no chickens... or goats... or peacocks, buffalo, fish, ostrich or any of the other wonderful things that 'THE FARM' entails... This place has a kick ass barn, 4 horses and like 20 cattle... So... I'm torn... My idea is to call this place "Triple H Ranch" - and to have "Triple H Photography" - "Triple H Woodworking" - "TRIPLE H EVERYTHING!"

So - dang it... I need to get on the whole figuring out a logo brand... Do I go with "HHH Ranch"? Or Triple H? Is it one in the same?

A few videos taken recently of the minimal progress... haha... THINK POTENTIAL!

The main house... Tight quarters - but it's making us closer!!! haha... (not by choice!)







I sent this to Han before she had seen 'her room' actually done... She spent a week with Meme and Aunt Carrie...



We'll call this 'the bowling alley' once we've connected the house...



The upstairs apartment/garage that will become the great room, a guest bedroom, wetbar and the boys/Hannahs rooms upstairs...



We moved the curtains that were in the living room when we moved in to the garage... hee hee... so PRETTY... NOT!




Overall - so far - it's been awesome... A little emotional... REALLY freaking expensive... and a huge adjustment - but we're getting there. When we start the main build in the spring - I think it will be really exciting. It's SOOO freaking cold right now - it's hard to DO anything outside. I say that... and Jer spent an hour outside tonight in the 16 degree windchill weather fixing the electric gate so that it would run smoother for the momma in the morning.

The kids are really getting closer... In all aspects. They are sharing a room to sleep - and Han has no choice but to play with her brothers. haha... I love it. honestly - she's "BACK IN" haha... by force... :) kidding. She seems to be having fun and has already made a few new friends at the new school. First day was rough... She wore 'holy' jeans and that is a HUGE 'no-no' - so we had to go home - change - and go back to finish enrolling her... oh well! lessons learned!

Crazy! Dad's been helping tremendously... He's been hanging on the weekends and just toodles off from time to time to fix 'shit'... haha... I look out front the window and he's 2 acres up at the gate... I look out the 'bowling alley' and he's sweeping the driveway... I look out the back windows and he's got a chainsaw going cutting wood for the fire... We even had a 'SHE-RA' moment where at 11 o'clock on Saturday with my mud boots on in the middle of the creek I managed a 100 lb. log - by myself... he talked about it all night and the next day... haha.. Somehow I became an 'ox' in his eyes.


I have tons of pics - but have already posted a million videos in this post - so - that's it for this one!

First... The first of FIRSTS for Jer and I...

Blackbird... Beatles...



If you have ever felt as if you were the "Black Sheep" or the "Black Bird" - this song is everything... Blackbird FLY... Into the LIGHT OF THE DARK BLACK NIGHT... uh huh... good shit!

Lyrics:

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Black bird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise,
You were only waiting for this moment to arise,
You were only waiting for this moment to arise...

_____________

Father and Son... Cat Stevens...

Since Jer and I have been together - this has been ONE (of many) his favorite songs... Right now... Jer's in tears thinking about Daddy Jack... but still... Cat Stevens.. Father and Son...




Father
It's not time to make a change,
Just relax, take it easy.
You're still young, that's your fault,
There's so much you have to know.
Find a girl, settle down,
If you want you can marry.
Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy.

I was once like you are now, and I know that it's not easy,
To be calm when you've found something going on.
But take your time, think a lot,
Why, think of everything you've got.
For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not.

Son
How can I try to explain, when I do he turns away again.
It's always been the same, same old story.
From the moment I could talk I was ordered to listen.
Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away.
I know I have to go.

Father
It's not time to make a change,
Just sit down, take it slowly.
You're still young, that's your fault,
There's so much you have to go through.
Find a girl, settle down,
if you want you can marry.
Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy.
(Son-- Away Away Away, I know I have to
Make this decision alone - no)
Son
All the times that I cried, keeping all the things I knew inside,
It's hard, but it's harder to ignore it.
If they were right, I'd agree, but it's them They know not me.
Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away.
I know I have to go.
(Father-- Stay Stay Stay, Why must you go and
make this decision alone?)

Am I really "splaining??" Lucy??? where are you???

I'm back... I've been lax in posting - I've been lax on working out and eating right - I've been lax on almost everything in life other than getting into this freaking house!!! haha...

Jer just said that we need to 'become MACHINES' on this property...uh... yeah... we have no choice...

New Years Resolutions... NONE... Goals... MANY...

1. BE ON TOP OF THE WORLD owning 10 acres and a beautiful little farm house...

2. STAY POSITIVE when little (or BIG) things happen... Shit happens - we know it... Seriously - I took out the side of my Durango this week because I wasn't paying attention... THAT IS A FLIP OUT moment... but for whatever reason I didn't... I'm hoping and PRAYING that I can stay positive when things of that nature go wrong with out domicile... It's gonna happen - I know it... STAY POSITIVE SUNSHINE!!!

3. GET FIT... Like seriously GET FIT... I've been making excuses - seriously... And because I've been making so many excuses I've gained the 10 (or 12) lbs. back that I lost a few months ago... I HAVE to get back on the treadmill... I HAVE to quit smoking... I have to chill on the Ultra's... I have TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much to do to be fat and have a bad body image... I'm better than that... But dammit - MY PANTS ARE TIGHT! FAT PANTS ARE TIGHT! GET ON IT HEATHER!

4. BE A BETTER PARTNER... My husband... Is a good and loving man... A good father... A good husband... A good man... He literally LIVES to make me happy... I will make that easier for him. My demons are MINE... not his... I WILL chill... I will make life easier for him... Because HE makes life easier for me... and I'm blessed to have someone who lives to LIVE for someone else...

5. BE MORE PLAYFUL... I am interally by nature - entirely too serious. Details details details... Clean clean clean... perfect perfect perfect... It is to my detriment that I am the way I am... Although I'm extremly proud of being on top of things - I need to chill - not only on myself - but on everyone around me. Stop worrying so much... Let the kids BE FREE and really EXPERIENCE life... The fullness and the bounty that we've given them... Momma needs to be more playful.

6. GIVE GOD ALL OF THE GLORY... This should be NUMBER 1!... And it really is... We will - as a family - find a church that is our HOME... Our children deserve to know the Glory of God and Jesus... all of the BOUNTY... Love, Faith, Hope and the treasure of being a Christ follower... I didn't know this as a child - but for some reason have always FELT IT... It is EVERYTHING to me... I will not force them to believe - but I will show them the way... Atleast they have the knowledge... Something that I didn't have...


7. TEACH MY CHILDREN WELL... I'm listening to Crosby Stills Nash and Young - Teach Your Children Well... My wonderful precious loving God... YES!!!!

You who are on the road
Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a good bye.

Teach your children well,
Their father's hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

And you, of tender years,
Can't know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth,
They seek the truth before they can die.

Can you hear and do you care and
Cant you see we must be free to
Teach your children what you believe in.
Make a world that we can live in.

Teach your parents well,
Their children's hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.


_______________________________
Really??? Pretty fuuuhhhreaking cool...

Ok... so... We're having fun... :)

So - who would have thought that I would snug up to this farm-ranch style way of living??? I had an idea and very much ALOT.... and by ALOT I mean ALOT of hope that I would figure my way around not living in a perfect-ish cracker box home... Guess what... I'm totally digging it... Like - totally.

Last night... New Year Eve - I spent atleast 2 hours BLEACHING and STEAMING the master bath toilet... yes, I know we've been here almost two weeks - but I have toilet phobia... seriously... My dad put on a new seat for me - so I figured that if I didn't touch anything else I was fine... at this point we could eat off of the f**ker... not kidding!

Anyway - we hung a few pictures and a mirror and it's now starting to look more like "our" home... The kids are warm and snuggy in bed sleeping soundly... Video to show A LITTLE progress:





Let's see if those work!! haha